Blog Post 6: Teen Life, Dealing with Peer Pressure and Sex

Peer Pressure is truly a problem in the society, one of the hardest issue to deal with. Some teens decide to have sexual relationships at a very early age because they think it's cool and because their friends are actually doing it. Others are being pressured by whom they are dating. Still some teens find it a lot easier to just give in and have sex than to explain why they should not do it. They are getting caught up by their feelings and emotions and believe that sex is still one of the best ways in proving that the love they have is true.

In this post, I will share my learning based on different articles I have read on how to deal with peer pressure when it comes to sex. First article I've read was written by Ruth k. Westheimer and Pieree A. Lehu, entitled "Teen Life: Dealing with Peer Pressure and Sex". In this article, they said that peer pressure is really an unavoidable  part of adolescence and teen hood, which is true. They also said that it is essential to know how to know when to say yes and when to say no to peer pressure.

Weisthesmer said "Waiting can make sex even better. Many people start having sex when they are young, but because the situation isn't right, they never discover how to become great lovers and never have terrific sex lives."

I agree with what Ruth K. Westheimer said, it is true that waiting can make it really exciting for the both of you especially when you guys have been together for several years now. Waiting can show that a man truly loves his woman. This can also show that they respect each other's decision and accept what their partners can give and offer. Rather than rushing into sex, people must determine if their feelings are true and have a genuine love for each other.

Another article I've read was written by Collin Allen last 2003, entitled "Peer pressure and teen sex". He said that many teens, especially boys, have felt the pressure to have sex before they must and before they are really ready. He also said that according to research, many teens actually think that they should wait until they are ready before having sex but only few of them can really wait. In his article, he said that boys tend to be more pressured than girls.

Allen said "Teens feel strong pressure to drink and try drugs." 

I agree with Allen, it is true that boys are likely to feel more pressured than girls. They feel more masculine and cool when they already have a sexual relationship with the opposite sex. They have that feeling that they can brag those experiences with their friends. For me, in order to avoid these kinds of problems teens are facing nowadays, parents must know how to communicate with their children in any topics. Having a sexual education program can also help in teaching the teens the consequences they would face if they would do this kind of unwanted activity.

Blog Post 5: Peer Pressure; Starts a very young age

Amazingly, peer group pressure can begin as early as elementary school, teachers and parents must always be on the lookout of their children who may negatively influenced by peers. The playground is often one of the most common source of potential social challenges for many kids. While some children are busy and happy playing with their friends, some being bullied and criticize by their peers.

This post highlights some common peer problems your child may face at school. I've read some articles on how can peer groups affect our children as early as seven or eight years old, first article I've read was entitled "Peer Pressure at School" written by Justin Coulson. In his article, he said that there are many problems our children face in their elementary stage. There comes a point when they are getting bullied and

teased, and unfortunately, these are still common in the school yard. Some are being intentionally left out of school activities. Also, one of the most common peer problem at school is when your children start to ask themselves whether they are cool or not. They will start questioning themselves why they don't have that much friends, they will start to think that maybe there is something wrong with them. These instances can make them perform very poor in academics and voluntarily exclude themselves to their peers.

Justin Coulson said, "By around the age of nine, many children have a keen sense of what is cool and what is not. Much of this is controlled by what they are exposed to via the media through the internet, television, and movies. If your child has not got the latest media gadget like iPod or mobile phone, seen the latest movie, or does not know the words  to the hottest song in the country, they may feel excluded and could be teased."

I definitely agree with Coulson, he delivered the most common reason very well and understandable. It is true that being left out with the latest gadgets and media are some common reasons why children are being bullied. They also tend to feel that they do not belong to the group once they lack something everyone in the group has. For me, it is important for parents to teach and educate themselves on how to accept that there are things they can have and cannot, It is important that at a very young age, children are already informed that they cannot give everything and they must not feel that they are being left out.

Another article I've read was written by Rick Nauert, PHD., entitled "Younger than you think: Peer Pressure Begins in Elementary School". In his article, he said that peer pressure is not just an issue for adolescents. Peer pressure begins in elementary school. As early as nine years old, kids can make their own decisions.

He said that "The emergence of peer groups in elementary school also aids the children's development by providing positive friendships, relationships, and social support."

I agree with Rick, at early at the age of nine, children can be influenced by their peers. But what's good in his article is that, he believed that peer pressure can be good if they will maintain their harmonious retionships with the positive people. I think this is a reminder call to all the parents, they must guide their children on their first stage of school, to see if they have the right choice of people to be friend with. Parents must be the first people to know if someone or something can bring and do good to their children.

Blog Post 4: Peer Pressure and Decision Making

Decision-making is cognitive process resulting in the selection of a belief or a course of action among several alternative possibilities, choices or options. It is choosing and identifying options based on differeent values, race and belief of a person. It is said to be one of the most important factor in every person's life. Most people believe that decision making is one major skill we should learn, especially the teen nowadays. With the so called peer pressure, it is very hard for the teens to decide on their own.

I saw some articles that can fully explain what is decision making and how can peer pressure affects the decision making skills of the teenagers nowadays. First article I've read was written by an IMD Professor, Phil Rosenzweig last November 2013, entitled "Categories of decision making". In his article, he explained that making decisions are inevitable in every person's life. We are living in a world full of decisions on a daily basis. He said that in making our decisions, we should have sets of options and should set benchmarks or parameters. Of course, all of our decisions depend on the situation. He said that if we want to improve something, then we should know what are the things we should do in order for us to influence the outcomes of our decisions. He also said that sometimes, we tend to be contented in what we have so we do not take time and put n effort to enhance our skills. He said that in every decision making, we should make the choice will give us the best.

Phil Rosenzweig said, “Decisions vary along two dimensions: control and performance. Control considers how much we can influence the terms of the decision and the outcome. And performance addresses the way we measure success.”

I agree with Phil, his article perfectly fits those teens who are undergoing or experiencing per pressure. Our decisions definitely brought us to where we today and will bring us to where we want to be in the future. So if we decided to be stagnant, then we will be stuck on where we are, but if we decided and choose to be successful, then we will become successful. It’s just a matter of choice. If you won’t do anything, you wouldn't reach anything.

And the second article I've read was about how can peer pressure influence our decision making skills. It was written by Amanda Romero entitled "Effects of Peer Pressure on Decision Making". Amanda said that our peer-to-peer interaction affects us every day. From the decisions we make, to the clothes we wear and the choices we take. She also said that peer pressure today is rising and cannot be escaped.

Amanda Romero once said, “Our teenagers are the most influenced by peer pressure. Peers influence people because they want to fit in, be like peers they admire, do what others are doing, It’s only natural for people to identify with and compare themselves to their peers as they consider how they wish to be, or what they want to achieve.”

It is true that we cannot run away from peer pressure, it is inevitable especially for the teenagers. For me, peer pressure has a huge impact in our decision making skills. Teens are very impulsive and careless when it comes to making their own decisions, they do not think twice before they do something, they do not think or plan ahead, all they want is to be accepted by their peers and to feel that there are people who like them.

Blog Post 3: Pros and Cons of Peer Pressure

With the way of life and choices by the peers nowadays, can lead to whether positive or negative impacts especially on their behavior and personality. Peers can greatly affect the perspective of a certain individual whether in a good or a bad way. It affects us all the time, directly or indirectly, positively and negatively. It can give us benefits and sometimes it can make us face the consequences.

I've read several articles regarding the advantages and disadvantages of Peer Pressure. The first article I've read was written by Manali Oak entitled, "Negative and Positive Effects of Peer Pressure". In her article, she said that teenagers were the most affected when dealing with peer pressure because they were the most vulnerable. Changes from physical to psychological stages are taking place.. They are dealing with the people who have similar characters with them, same thinking and behavior most of the time. Peer pressure can affect the decisions they make in life, in which these decision may not be good for them, they can also gain bad habits because of the negative factors brought by peer pressure. However, they can also cultivate good habits when they make friends with good and positive people, and if a teen is lucky enough to find a good group, his peers can be a good influence and example that can help him build himself in a positive way. It is just a matter of choice.

Oak said, "Teenage years are the educative years of one's life. It's the phase they do their high school, go for higher education, take up degree courses. They are busy carving a career for themselves. They spend most of their time among those of their age - their friends, peers. Teenage is the most youthful period of life."

Manali Oak is definitely correct, for me, there are really Pros and Cons of Peer Pressure. These things are inevitable especially for teens who are just learning or developing their decision making skills. During my high school years, It was really hard for me to decide on myself especially in choosing the right thing to do versus the things that I want to do. But eventually, with the help of my parents of course, I was able to know which is more important and which is more necessary. Teens, they don't need to be perfect, they just need to be true to themselves and be open about how they feel especially to their parents.

The second article I've read will let us know how does negative peer pressure affects us, whether direct or indirect. It was written by Diane Fitzpatrick, entitled "Types of Peer Pressure". She said that the types of peer pressure range from direct, confrontational pressure, to more subtle pressures to look, dress and act like everyone else.

She said that "Direct, spoken, negative peer pressure puts your child on the spot through direct confrontation. Your teen's peers want to convince him to do something he shouldn't do. When peers resort to this type of direct pressure, it's difficult for teens to find an excuse to do the right thing without risking ridicule."

I agree with Diane, it is very hard for a teen to resist negative peer pressure especially when it is directly spoken which leads to confrontations. Teens are more prone to negative peer pressure than the positive ones.They tend to just go with the flow not knowing if what they are doing can either lead to negative or positive outcomes. I think teenagers need to have a guidance, not too much and not too little, a balance guidance will do. They just need some advice on how to say no to temptations and how to handle these kinds of pressure.

Blog Post 2: Parents vs Peer Pressure

When you are trying to raise a child the right way, you can never escape to per pressure as soon as he walks out the door. From the style of clothing, the kind of music and the attitude to a popular culture saying it’s cool to drink and do drugs, parents must be on hundred and one concerned, they have the right to be concerned. And parents must know and understand how to deal with the behaviors their children have under peer pressure.

In this post, I will share the ways on how parents help their teens in handling or overcoming peer pressure. These tips are of course based on my research and readings. Here’s the first article. “5 Ways to Help Your Teen Deal with Peer Pressure” written by Kendra Smiley. In her article, peer pressure is defined as Peer pressure is nothing new but a recent article in the Wall Street Journal suggested it is something teenagers need in order “to become adults.” Ms. Smiley listed some ways on how to help parents deal with Peer Pressure. She said that parents should understand that any relationships has peer pressure and in these relationships there are emotions involved.

The take-away, Kendra said “Parents, love your teenager enough to establish boundaries and consequences. Don’t hover. Help them anticipate potential negative pressure and develop a plan to handle it. The teenagers who have developed independent thinking skills are the peers who exert positive peer pressure, encouraging others to do what is right.”

I agree with Miss Kendra, parents must know and understand that any organization has peer pressure on it accept that from the beginning it has had the potential to be either negative or positive. I believe that it is the parents’ job or responsibility to help their child develop the ability to respond to peer pressure to think first in every situation. And one thing parents must understand is that they should discipline their child lovingly, do not be so strict to your children because children who were raised by strict disciplinarian has the ability to lie since they cannot show their real self. Of course, give your children some freedom, especially the freedom to make their own decisions.

On the other hand, James Lehman also wrote an article entitled “Parenting Teens: Parental Authority vs. Peer Pressure” He said that teens are usually doing the things that their parents re telling them not to do. Teens are actually doing the things their parents don't like. They don’t do this to irritateyou, he’s doing it because his friends are doing it and teems think that these things are cool. So they do it.

In his article, he was asked how much control does he has over the things to which his child is exposed. He answered, "I think it’s important to understand that you have no control over what your children are exposed to when they leave for the day. And unfortunately, it’s the same world you and I are exposed to, even though kids don’t have the mental capacity or maturity level that we have to deal with it. It’s a risky proposition, and I understand that."


Based on my own experience, James was correct. I agree with him when he said that parents should never underestimate the power of peer pressure. Teens are more likely to listen to their friends then their parents. Only few teens consider the advice of their parents when it comes to their looks, taste in music, how they dress, etc. Of course they want the feeling of being accepted by their friends so they wanted to please them more than their parents. As a parent, I think that the only control you have is through the beliefs, values and morals you can teach to your children.

Blog Post 1: Effects and Causes of Peer Pressure

Peer pressure is a form of social pressure by a group for one to take action in order to be accepted. It is associated with taking risk and making decisions, activities involved in peer pressure often occur in the company of peers. On the other hand, peer pressure can also give positive effects to teens when they have the right people to deal and hang out with.

I've read several articles to fully understand the different effects of peer pressure the youth has been experiencing nowadays. First article I've read was written by Katrina Brown Hunt entitled “Peer Pressure: How It Affects You; How you eat, exercise, and feel is influenced by your friends.” She said that when you are a teenager, friends play very important role in defining who you really are. She also reiterated that peer pressure is more than just someone  offering you to try smoking and drinking and saying “Hey, try this.” It can affect a teen in anything he does. 

Eileen Stone, an adolescent psychologist at Sanford Health in Fargo, N.D.  says, "You can start the day one way, and after being with your friends, come home with almost a different personality. You can end up absorbing their attitudes, or the language they use, as you work on your own identity."

Well for me, Ms. Stone is definitely correct. The people around us, peers, colleagues, whatever you call them can easily influence us, and this can be a good or a bad thing. If we are trying to make positive changes in our lifestyle, such as eating healthy or going on an exercise daily, feeling good about ourselves and others, then keeping these positive people is the right thing to do. We should always remember that the people around us can easily affect our mood, they can change the way we see certain things in life, they can annoy or please us with their attitude. If we do not feel good about ourselves most of the time, maybe we are surrounding ourselves with the “not-so-positive” people. 

The second article I've read was about the “Common Causes of Peer Pressure in Teens” by Alice Langholt. She explained that adolescents develop a strong desire to fit in with their peers and be accepted by the society.     

Alice said “An obvious form of peer pressure is teen drinking at parties. Kids who attend are expected to drink and some may be expected to drink heavily. Subtler forms of peer pressure exist in clothing choices or attitudes toward sex or drug use. Simply agreeing with the group's attitudes usually isn't enough; teens have to prove themselves by backing their words with actions.”

I agree with what she said, oftentimes peer pressure is much more subtle. I think it is very important for parents to equip their children with the skills needed or dealing with peer pressure. If teens do not feel confident with themselves or with their decisions they will be more likely to be involved in illegal or prohibited activities, just because they are seeking self-acceptance. Their self worth are being forgotten once they are lacking confidence.